::NzardBlogFog::

unlucky-in-love

2008-10-19T00:47:00.001+08:00

unlucky-in-love
Originally uploaded by estherase

so, anybody who has been checking this blog doesn't have to do so next time coz I'm no longer using blogspot. I've discovered Vox but I won't tell you my URL coz I'm not ready for public yet (and I'm not exactly a great blogger, more like a lazy one!)...so, I guess this is goodbye....! =(

Dream Phone

2008-10-19T00:43:00.001+08:00

Bold vs iPhone... Size
Originally uploaded by sheshymaroii

wow! I hope to own one of these next year...*keeping my fingers crossed*

Changes are inevitable

2006-06-08T01:11:00.000+08:00

Hi peeps. Starting today I would no longer be using Blogger as my blog since they don't exactly mix well with my favourite browser Mozilla Firefox. I've already registering a new blog at Wordpress (thanks to Ilyani for introducing us) yesterday. Until I sort out everything at Blogger and Wordpress, I'll just stick to Friendster Blog. And I'm not sure when is that since I'm on dial-up (I'm thinking of using Streamyx but found out it is not very cheap. Oh, how I miss the 11.0mbps connection of USM hotspots!) and my parents keep pestering me on finding a job (actually I would love to postphone this until my Convo but it would be quite impossible) and being a lazy-a$$ myself. The truth is while I'm not blogging, I prefer checking out my favourite music blogs and other cool blogs and websites (which I very much love to mention in my future post) including Friendster *worships* so I have quite an idea what to write and how to do it. But then again, being on dial-up really making me frustrating sometimes.
I guess thats all for the announcement. I'm hoping you'll stick with me and see you all in my Friendster Blog and Wordpress.

The Children

2006-05-04T14:26:00.000+08:00

The Children, originally uploaded by kittynn.

Hi. Sorry for the lack of post since I'm busy with everything and my life has been very disorganized and disoriented. You just have to wait till June maybe for the 'new' me! Hahah...be patient people....

Happy Birthday!

2006-04-22T20:57:00.000+08:00

42-15193345
Originally uploaded by beachycat.

Well, tomoroow is my birthday...hope I have a very happy and fruitful one!

Flickr

2006-04-16T00:23:00.000+08:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

I'm very lucky this week!

2006-02-23T10:40:00.000+08:00

Man, I just wanna say I'm very lucky this week. First, a girl day out with my buddy setelah sekian lama takx kuar sama-sama sebab masing-masing sibuk dengan FYP. Then, dapat baca buku yang dah lama aku nak beli- The Historian and 5 people You Meet in Heaven. Last Monday plak dapat face to face(sorta) dengan ex-Prime Minister Malaysia, Tun Dr. Mahathir. He's a great man and I love his speech. Although masa tuh dia bagi speech for just 1 hour and the next 1 hour for Q & A, aku sanggup went through another 2 or 3 more hours of speech. Next plak, that was last night, I finally get to meet many of my friends favourite actor including mine, Hans Isaac! He is so f**king hot la. The story is, I did not expect to meet him instead because my friends told me Erra Fazira would come for the screening of their latest movie "Persona Non Grata". Imagine my surprise bila aku sampai je kt DTSP, Hans keluar dari pintu dewan sebab nak pegi toilet. No, I did not wait for him outside the toilet but I decided to wait for him with a couple of friends yang baru jugak sampai kat situ. Setelah beberapa lama, Hans turun (toilet kt tingkat atas) and my friend asked to take picture with him and he cheerfully agree. We just took 2 picture with him because lepas tuh baru la quite a number of people menyibuk nak tangkap gambar gak dengan Hans.
Then, in a suara yang sangat sedap(Hans), the following conversation took place,
Hans: why didnt you watch the movie? (he asked in Malay actually)
Me: We havent got the ticket actually so we cant obviously watch it (flirtingly).
Hans: Nevermind, just go into the hall.
Allofus: But...(looking at each other)
Man guarding the door: Yes, can I help you? (konon nak menghalang kami masuk la)
Hans: Nevermind, let them in.
Allofus: (wow)...
Then, the rest of us watch the movie and giggling like most besotted girls would do when meeting (and talking too) to a hot celebrity. I couldnt imagine what would would happen if I met Orlando Bloom instead. I probably just die in front of him....

Check out my pictures at Flickr...
Ohye, I got video recording masa one of Q & A with Tun Dr. Mahathir, kalau nak download click here for the question, and here for the answer by Tun.

Memoirs of a Geisha

2006-02-18T21:54:00.000+08:00

Aku tak tahu le kenapa setiap kali aku tengah baca buku atau tengok cerita best mcm "Memoirs of a Geisha" nih aku begitu bersemangat sekali nak tulis blog after I had finished it but everytime I want to begin my blog, I don't know how to start...hmmm...
Well, I have no problem with MOAG the books although lepas aku abis baca buku tuh memang aku konpius sebab mana satu betul mana satu rekaan Arthur Golden(the author). Betul, meaning came exactly from the mouth of the real geisha(I forgot her name) who share with him the story or made-up by the author. Tapi I admit, Arthur Golden is one hell a great story-teller because I really enjoyed the way he re-told the story.
But to help you all and myself, let me share with you the meaning of "Memoirs":

Wikipedia's:
"As a literary genre, a memoir forms a subclass of autobiography, although it is an older form of writing. Memoirs may appear less structured and less encompassing than formal autobiographical works as they are usually about part of a life – often a public part of a life – rather than a life from childhood to old age. A memoir is slightly different from an autobiography. Traditionally, a memoir focuses on the "life and times" of the author, while an autobiography has a narrower, more intimate focus on the author's own memories, feelings and emotions. Memoirs have often been written by politicians or military leaders as a way to record and publish an account of their public exploits. In the eighteenth century, "scandalous memoirs" were written (mostly anonymously) by prostitutes or libertines: these were widely read in France for their juicy gossip. But memoir has another meaning too. The pagan rhetor Libanius framed his life memoir as one of his orations, not the public kind, but the literary kind that would be read aloud in the privacy of one's study. This kind of memoir refers to the idea in ancient Greece and Rome, that memoirs were like "memos," pieces of unfinished and unpublished writing which a writer might use as a memory aid to make a more finished document later on. In more recent times, memoirs are also life stories which can be about the writer and about another person at the some time."

Merriam-Webster:
"a narrative composed from personal experience"

Unfortunately, I couldn't tell you more about the books because people who really know me know that I could finish the book in one day and forget what happen in the book the next two days. That's the result of 'speed-reading-because-I-can't-wait-to-know-the-ending'. Besides, I had already return the books to the owner( thanks to Shahrill for giving me the privilege of reading the book) and rest assured, the book will be worth every sen of your money and time.

Now, what I can't wait to tell you is about the movie. Before you read any further, I should post a big warning: DO NOT WATCH THE MOVIE IF YOU HAVE READ THE BOOK (or vice versa).
Aku sungguh sedih bila nobody give me such warning before I watch the movie. Why you ask?
Let me tell you. The movie is such a bummer compared to the book. It's not that it's boring or susah nak faham jalan cerita or anything tp because I had read the book, watching the movie was such a disappointment. Niza, my roomate also agree with me and she too had read the book.
Memang Rob Marshall banyak ubah jalan cerita asal and setting buku tuh. The actors was brilliant and this compliment is not because they're Asia but because they're really that good. These are what I have to comment/compliment of the movie:
1. Why on earth Mameha( Michelle Yeoh) do not wear any make up for geisha (in the movie) if she is one of the respectable geisha during that era?
2. Matsumomo (Gong Li) is very, very bad. I'm sorry. I know that my speaking English is not as good either but at least I'm not starring in one of the Hollywood-directed movie. Her English sort of spoiled the 'feeling' while watching the movie.
3. Yang paling tak best, babak Zhang Ziyi jadi lead untuk satu pertunjukan tarian. Macam orang gila je. Seriously...Tapi I have absolutely no idea kalau sebenarnya memang geisha menari macam tuh. I'm totally sorry if it is for real.

Kesimpulannya, although the movie is beautiful and all but the storyline is major disappointment. Nasihat aku kt Rob Marshall, kalo nak buat versi sendiri, jangan guna nama "memoirs of a geisha" terus. buat je tajuk lain and jangan menumpang populariti novel tuh (uish,penuh perasaan). Compliment? The move is beautiful- beautiful costume, setting and all but most of it was set in US anyway. So, I guess that's it.
DO NOT WATCH THE MOVIE IF YOU HAVE READ THE BOOK!

Next, a review on a book: The Kite Runner and The Historian.

why am i posting this?

2006-02-03T19:46:00.000+08:00

uh hello...
i'm gonna be quick.
i haven't made up my mind what i'm going to post.
but you have to check this out.
have you ever heard the fall out boy?
they're big in US but my friend Najiha never heard of them...hahaha....shame on you....
whatever. since youtube is behind firewall in USM, luckily today i have stumble upon another video-sharing site.
introducing google video (beta).
sorry if you ever heard about this before.
apparently i just found out a few minutes ago.
back to the fall out boy again.
you have to check out this video. no, it's not their videoclip but a video made by somebody else.
It's called Interpretation of Fall Out Boy

real lyric: [courtesy of: sing365/]
Am I more than you bargained for yetI've been dying to tell you anything you want to hearCause that's just who I am this weekLie in the grass, next to the mausoleumI'm just a notch in your bedpostBut you're just a line in a song(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)
Drop a heart, break a nameWe're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
We're going down, down in an earlier roundAnd Sugar, we're going down swingingI'll be your number one with a bulletA loaded God complex, cock it and pull itWe're going down, down in an earlier roundAnd Sugar, we're going down swingingI'll be your number one with a bulletA loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
Is this more than you bargained for yetOh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closetWishing to be the friction in your jeansIsn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be himI'm just a notch in your bedpostBut you're just a line in a song(Notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)
Drop a heart, break a nameWe're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
We're going down, down in an earlier roundAnd Sugar, we're going down swingingI'll be your number one with a bulletA loaded God complex, cock it and pull it[x3]
We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
We're going down, down (down, down)Down, down (down, down)We're going down, down (down, down)A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

very funny, you know. (and WTH about the cock anyway???)
maybe when i have time, i'll compile a list of my favourite blogs i rather spent time visiting rather than writing my owns. but you should check out the links on the right side because i love those sites.
when i love something, it means they're good+benificial+good+benificial.
ok gotta go, i gotta pee (opss..., didn't i heard this audible before?)
this 2 weeks i'm gonna be VERY busy- i got a couple of PCRs to do, literature review to write, a test on this coming Tuesday and i still don't know how to study for the test since there's no textbook nor a complete lecture notes (pray for me) and some money to spend (but i'm busy, remember?)...i guess, that's not as busy as the Prime Minister, right? So, i'll manage......

Technorati what?

2006-01-23T16:33:00.000+08:00

Well well....right now I'm checking out Technorati...Don't know what it's for? Pi search dlm Google sendiri la....hAhAhA...!
Technorati Profile

Closer

2006-01-12T20:44:00.000+08:00

Have you seen or even heard about the movie "Closer"? I finally had the chance to watch that movie. However, no matter how much I love the movie, I might not write a great review like the one I was lucky enough to stumble upon to which you can read later below my ramblings. After I had watch the movie, I made up my mind about a couple of things which are:
1. I have just noticed how great-looking Jude Law is. Honestly, I didn't really notice it before. Maybe because it was such a long time ago I'd watch a film with Jude Law in it. I mean I was drooling throughout the entire movie (hAhAhA...sorry Orli!)
2. Great performance by Natalie Portman and Clive Owen! Not that Julia Robert is horibble or what but the two of them are really impressive.
3. I really hate the ending which I won't tell you what is happening or why I hate it. hAh! You just have to watch it yourself...
4. I'm not confused by the flow of the story although my friend warned me about it because she hated the movie for not understanding what is really happening in the movie. My hint: The problem here is the period of time. In the movie, they won't mention whether it is eight month later, 2 years later, a couple of days ago etc etc like most of the movie we'd watched. So you have to think hard a little bit. If not, you might be confused why suddenly she is with him and the next scene she is happily married to another man.
5. At first I love Jude Law in the movie, then Clive Owen, then JL, then I hate both men...huh!
I might warn you that this movie is not watchable with your younger sister or brother who doesn't yet know that shagging is the same meaning with making out/having sex/getting laid/f**king- I guess you get the picture or even with your parents if you don't want them to turn off the tv/laptop...!

So now, lets read what a blogger, Elisabeth Leitch have to say about the movie and I must say I really love her review and it did justice to the movie. Well, read on....

Someone once told me that movies rarely portray people who are in love, concentrating rather on people falling in love and falling out of love. Depicting only first meetings, breakups, reconciliations, and points of crisis in two intersecting romantic relationships, Closer does just that. It spans four year’s time, skips months, portrays interactions less than twenty minutes long, and looks at those points when relationships begin, end, collide, and restart. A tale of the "modern relationship," Closer does not merely explore an abstract happy concept of love and romance; rather, Closer reveals how we so often define love and, in the end, it questions the very ideas we allow to make up that definition.
Love is an accident waiting to happen.
The first statement to roll across the Closer preview screen months before the movie’s release, these words presented a first look at the love Closer would depict—love as chance, as a surprise, as something that happens in a moment, as something that cannot be denied, and as a literal fall that we are powerless to stop. In the opening scene of the movie, as Alice (Natalie Portman) locks eyes with Dan (Jude Law) and then gets hit by a car, this accident waiting to happen occurs. The question is, is the accident really love?
In a later scene, when Dan confesses to an affair he is having with Anna (Julia Roberts), he tells Alice that he just fell in love. She responds with the question, "You didn’t have a choice?" She states that that there is always a moment where you say to yourself, "I can do this or I can resist it." And she leaves us with two more questions: Does an accident have to be love? Or even more so, can love really be just as simple as an accident?
Desire is a stranger.
Flashing between of few more clips of Closer’s preview, Closer’s second definition of modern relationships make the connection that if love is always a surprise, something new, and something unexpected, desire must rest in a similar realm. In one sense, this idea reflects the all too common feeling of wanting and desiring only that which we don’t have or know and growing apathetic towards and tired of that which we do know and do have. As Alice says to Dan during a break up, "I amuse you, but I bore you."
In another sense, these words also seem to ask how real what we call desire actually is. If desire is a stranger, one must wonder if the feeling we recognize as desire is actually desire itself or if desire is a stranger we have yet to fully know. We must stop and ask ourselves if we can actually desire someone we know no better than the stranger walking down the street.
Intimacy is a lie we tell ourselves.
One step beyond desire and into intimacy, the preview’s third statement about modern romance not only claims that today’s relationships don’t fully know part of what we call love; it and so many scenes in the movie painfully point to the notion that, even in sexual relationships, intimacy is far too often non-existent.
Throughout the movie, much of the dialogue is about sex. The couples are clearly having it while we are not watching and have no trouble talking about it while we are. While they are physically intimate, however, every scene in the movie seems to portray the lack of any true connection or knowledge of each other much beyond the purely physical.
At the beginning of the movie, a scene involves Larry (Clive Owen) having cyber sex with Dan (posing as Anna). The dialogue is intimate. Larry is convinced he is in love. Yet, between the internet’s public nature, the literal distance built into it, and the fact that Larry is not even corresponding with who he thinks he is, the thought that this scene should actually be intimate is saddening.
Later in the movie, in a private room at a strip club with Alice, Larry screams out: "What the !*?# do you have to do to get a little intimacy around here?" He cries out for sex. He cries out because, for Alice, the whole scene is an act and her identity a lie. In connection with the entire movie, with sexual relationships rising out of "falls," sex just because and out of guilt, and relationships between people who barely know each other any more than a stripper and the men who watch her, it seems that the question of where intimacy is could actually be asked about the entire movie.
Truth is a game we play to win.
In definition number four, these words reveal the harsh reality that relationships are far too often no different than competition in which every action is done to score, to win, and to gain an advantage. In this movie, truth is rarely told out of honor. Wrongdoings are not confessed in search of forgiveness. Confessions are not sought to offer forgiveness. Rather, truth becomes a tool to inflict pain, cause guilt, and be used to one’s advantage. Truth, when not useful for inflicting pain, is best kept close and guarded. And forgiveness, when given, is never offered, only earned.
At one point, Dan states, "Without truth we are animals." Larry says, "Without forgiveness we are savages." Throughout the movie, however, truth comes off as no more than taking or winning a point. Forgiveness is nothing other than getting the points you rightfully deserve back. And, when it comes down to it, neither reflects anything more than an animalistic desire to come out on top.
As a movie, Closer is very well done. As has been said by many people who have already seen the movie, the story is a very accurate portrayal of what many relationships look like today. The script and its frequent discussion of and emphasis on sex come across as unscripted and realistic. Each actor offers a performance filled emotion that we can see on each of their faces and Director Mike Nichols showcases the emotion of the entire movie with numerous close ups.
Although Closer is categorized as a drama/romance, I, however, would have to say there is nothing romantic about it at all. Yes, the story is about romantic relationships. It is about couples and sex and desire, but when it is all over, none of it is very romantic. After four years in and out of relationships, all the movie’s couples are are four people who still don’t seem that much closer to truly loving or knowing each other at all.
Rather than a celebration of love, the end of Closer is instead filled with a sense of emptiness and aloneness that longs for something more. It points the reality of Closer’s tagline: If you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking. In other words, it makes us ask ourselves: If love is only an accident, if desire and intimacy never reach below the surface, if truth and honesty are only self serving, how in the world is any relationship ever going to keep our attention, satisfy any longing more complex than hunger or thirst, or give us any reason to truly allow ourselves to be known, allow ourselves to be loved, and allow ourselves to actually know and love another person?
At the same time that Closer portrays its relationships as the only reality, the emotional longing that each character exhibits throughout the movie tells us that we all need more and that in the end, there has to be something more. Loving us on purpose for longer than one moment, desiring to know every piece and aspect of who we are, never playing games or keeping score, and always offering forgiveness, God shows us the reality of a deeper, stronger love every day. It is love that is not an accident, a stranger, a lie, or a game. More than love at first sight, it is love that never ends, a love that is ours already, and a love that desires to replace too many skewed definitions of love that currently define too many relationships and leave too many people constantly looking for something more.

Find out more here in her review blog http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/ (yeah, I know the address is pretty...well you know...)
Photos also could be found here

Well? Tell me what do you think of the film when you have watch it or if you had watch it!

Just A Wish...

2006-01-09T15:56:00.000+08:00

Well, I just want to wish everybody " Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha" and drive safely. As for me, I'm waiting for my dad from his work and then we'll head to Bkt. Mertajam- my hometown. Chiao...
p/s: lusa dah kena balik USM...uwaa....

Goodbye 2005

2005-12-31T14:56:00.000+08:00

Listening to: 'Crazy'- Alanis Morissette cover
Actually there's a lot on my mind to talk about. It is the end of 2005 and I can't believe it is over. Don't worry, my final year project (fyp) is still dragging itself slowly to finish the race. This morning me and those who share the same supervisor of my fyp had a meeting. Your guess is right. She is very angry with our progress and attitude towards our projects. The conclusion of the meeting are:
1. Plan your work properly
2. Don't waste glassware, electric and anything else we love to waste on.
3. Try to minimize contamination in our lab/place- meaning: prepare our media properly as it could be a major cause to contamination, clean all dirty plates...ops, sorry...i mean glassware that we have used and sterilized your glassware, place where you keep your cultures and everything else.
For those who find some of the words are too alien to your vocabulary, sorry I'm not going to explain it to you. You just to have to look it for yourself. The same way I do when I don't have any idea what CSS, content tagging, RSS feed, Atom etc etc means. But if you don't get the picture of what are the importance of what my supervisor just told us, I'll help you. You see, to scientist, researcher, Master student or graduate student like me, the biggest nightmare to all the hard work we have put into our project, research etc etc are contamination or didn't get the result that we expect. So we have to be careful not to make any mistake that could harm our final result. There, you get it?
Recently I've just realized what else we could do to blog if you're to lazy(like me) to think of something to post and prefer reading other peole blog or visiting my favourite websites. It also give me a new meaning/reason to write to my blog. Apparently we could post a link of some article or other people blog like many of the blogs I'm fortunate enough to stumble to. You might want to check the links I post on the right side of my blog to check some of my favourite blog.
There even a blog that compiled the Best Links 2005 that I didn't get the chance to check it out myself since I'm writing this blog.
When I went online just now, it was a relief mixed witd sadness to know that J K Rowling is starting to pen the final installment of the Harry Potter series and hopes to finish it somewhere next year (wait, that's tomorrow!) and amusing to know that what would have been in the entertainment in '05: What If Cruise Had Kept Control... and how it turns out be instead!
If you love to doodle during your class or meeting you might as well visit this blog Blog-Doodle or if you have a secret you can't keep you MUST visit this popular blog Post Your Secret Here
And to all final year students, you must read stark raving terror on what will happen if you trust the technology too much to finish your thesis!

If you like what you see above, you should go here to make your own speech bubble =)

Other than this, I would like to achieve some of my wishes for 2006 although some of them I should've done in 2005. Nevertheless, I wish (in no particular importance):

to read:
1. The Historian, Elizabeth Kostova
2. The Broker, John Grisham
3. 5 People you Meet in Heaven, Mitch Albom
4. State of Fear, Michael Chrichton
5. Any of C.S. Lewis, Mark Burnell and Greg Iles books
6. Harry Potter, Book 7
7. The Thesis- my senior's fy thesis
8. Lecture notes
9. Reference books that has something to do with the subjects I'm taking this year or my fyp.

to watch:
1. Constant Gardener
2. Perhaps Love
3. King Kong
4. Million Dollar Baby
5. The Aviator
6. Hitchiker Guide to the Galaxy
7. Memoirs of a Geisha
8. Sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean, X-Men etc
9. and some more movie that I couldn't recall now.

to achieve/fantasize:
1. My fyp project goes on smoothly and finish on time
2. study very hard
3. plan my time wisely
4. finish my assignment, lab reports on time
5. less procrastinating
6. be more thoughtful to people around me
7. get a great grade
8. Less forgetful
Well, at least that is what can I come up with at this moment...

Last but not least, Happy New Year!!!

p/s: whoa...I've written the longest blog ever for myself this year! hAhAhA....

I need some strength...

2005-12-27T20:43:00.000+08:00

Actually I'm pretty concerned with my final year project. Yela, I'm kinda behind everybody else. Well maybe not all but they have their own solid excuse. So memang aku tido tak lena sket memikirkan projek aku nih. Dahla weekend nih ada meeting plak dgn my supervisor. Although she's nice, I'm sure her niceness is limited to people who don't looking out for trouble. The problem is I don't look for trouble but maybe I'm not good at organizing my project and not very good handling it all by myself. Hell...! I dunno what should I tell her about my work progress. Arghh....very stressful!!! I should have taken an Art stream instead...hAhAhA..nk jadi saintis konon. Haprak jela aku nih...
Dahla my result isn't flying high either. Taktau la nk jadik apa aku nih. Dah la tinggal satu sem ja lagi. Hopeless...
Arghh...esok maybe kelas dh start. Aku amik 4 subjek sem nih- 2 subjek bio(mikrob p'sekitaran, bio. vektor & parasit), 1 opsyen(spanish) and 1 minor (psiko). Projek lg nk kena handle, penulisan tesis supervisor dh bg dateline...Argghh...I'm...I'm finished...! God help me!!! Give me strength to keep on going....

My House (or should it be The House?)

2005-12-26T23:16:00.000+08:00

I got this from Ilyani (yay...finally I'm updating my blog!). The purpose of this thing is it is supposed to analyze your personality through your drawing of your house except in my case it doesn't look anything like my house at all but what the hell. I want to get myself analyzed and there it goes. But maybe I should warned you before you see my drawing: I totally suck drawing using mouse,touchpad whatever (although I've practised my times using the app. Paint- not for this purpose only la!) so my drawing has irregular lines =P. Well now, here we go...

And based on my drawing, a couple of questions and here presto, I'm analyzed:

Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:
"You are sensitive and indecisive at times. You are a freedom lover and a strong person".
The 1st line is so very true...I mean I don't think much about having a relationship right now and find that anybody at my age getting married or took relationship seriously is damn weird. Hey, I'm not anti-Relationship, homosexual, bisexual or anything. It just that my mind(or rather my way of thinking) hasn't evolve in the relationship part with the opposite sex. I know, pity me or what an alien (no offense, Ilyani) !
I will get married, have kids, etc but I'm not sure when.

"You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes. You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be".
I'm not very sure about avoiding being lonely because actually I really don't mind being lonely because I work best under that circumstances. I could live with just myself, a great book and a cup of coffee. Yes, I love the right kind of excitement and very tidy but not very obsessively tidy. Full of changes? Yeap, thats me. I love doing last minute changes or decision. The last line is very true though I couldn't elaborate more.

"You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself."
What can I say...very well said.

If your interested to take the test yourself, you might as well go here:
Take the test

USM hazy day...

2005-08-14T17:10:00.000+08:00

I know it was yesterday that USM being engulfed by haze but I don't feel about writing about it till now. It all started when I kept waking up in the middle of night because of mosquitoes and I smelt like smoke. It did't occur to my mind to check outside of my window since I was very sleepy myself. Then, the next morning, the smell was even worse. I thought "What the hell?". When I checked out of my window, imagined my shocked face when I saw....

Yes, that was what I saw from my window-haze!!!

Then again, life must go on (although I'm having difficulty breathing). I need to go to the lab to do some work. The smell was a teribbly strong smell of smoke and it made you felt out of breath and made my journey to the lab was excruciatingly uncomfortable. Hell, there was no bus since it was weekend and it simply made my day. Through my journey, I manage to capture a few more picture of haze around USM. I'm not a very good photographer although using a digi camera because I think my pictures are not as hazy as it suppose to be but I guess you get the picture. The pictures are on top of this blog... I didn't feel better until I reach my lab. It was very difficult to breathe and the air you breath it doesn't feel fresh either. It's like burning and choking. I was having panic and and began imagining that there will also be curfew in Penang. I thought " How about my lab? So much effort will be wasted if we have to go home," Hahaha...what am I thinking? After all the worst could happen, that's all in my mind? The haze must have done something to my brain.

Luckily in the evening the wind was blowing stronger and the terrible smell began to dissappear. Thank to God for that!

Today was cloudy (mendung) and thankfully no more haze. The air improves tremendously and it feel like yesterday was just a dream. Praise be to Allah.

Hope the government could take a more effective scheme to avoid Malaysia from its hazy day again.... Save the environment, say no to open-burning!!!

say OK for KO? (i mean kate+orli)

2005-08-12T19:19:00.000+08:00

huhuhu...it seems they're together again...oh, i'm heart-broken...somebody help...i can't get my mind off him....
i dedicate this song to myself~

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens
To my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
He (original lyric is 'She') could never be as good as you
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before

Before you ....
[muse,unintended]

projek dah start!

2005-08-11T14:30:00.000+08:00

waduh...penat la aku bila projek dah betul-betul start nanti (lepas cuti mid-sem). Lupa plak nak bgtau tajuk projek ake. Here it goes " Kajian Morfologi dan Molekular (menggunakan teknik RAPD) pencilan Fusarium oxysporum f. sp. cubense dari pokok pisang". Fuh...nak tulis tajuk pon dah berjela-jela. Minggu lepas baru jumpa student Master sebab supervisor aku takde pegi kursus pas balik dari Brazil. Kami di-briefing serba sikit tentang tajuk and kena buat literature search (atau dalam lain perkataan, buat pembacaan sendiri-jurnal sains, buku rujukan etc). Baru tadi barulah berkesempatan sume student 3rd year jumpa Dr. Latifah (supervisor). She told us a little bit further what we might be doing and what we should do. We're told to have a logbook and made a proposal to be submitted next friday. Proposal tuh untuk menilai kefahaman kitaorang terhadap projek. Also as a 15% marks for project for our initiative. As for my project is gonna be quite (maybe not so quite but very) difficult because it's involving molecular technique which i have try my best (believe me) to ignore choosing a project which involve one but maybe its my luck (or rather not so lucky) to get a project involving Molecular biological. so whether i like it or not, life must goes on. This also mean I need to be extra hardworking like i've never before. So what I should do next are: read more on my project, write a proposal and wait for the next discussion to come...
Oh, by the way, Usm skarang nih tengah konvo. Sekarang nih kt bilik aku (actually everyday, day and night) boleh dengar mamat2/minah2 tengah melalak karaoke kt tapak konvo. believe me its not a happy tune, more like Malaysian Idol's rejects jer. Huh, sabo jela...
okla, i guess thats all.my eyelids are so heavy right now. maybe a couple of downloads at deviantart.com and then maybe i'll sign off....
amigos, adios! hasta la proxima (oh did i tell you i'm taking spanish this semester?) =)

untitled

2005-07-07T00:33:00.000+08:00

i've been meaning to write earlier. right now i'm watching 'mr & mrs smith'. just before that we watch 'war of the world'..too bad brad pitt and jennifer aniston didn't make it.i love them.
you know what.just now one of my coursemate told me that he's been married during the holiday.of course i didn't believe him.i still didn't now.i mean he showed me one of his picture but that is quite small and it doesn't show his entire face plus the moustache and beard (to make him look more mature-whuteva).i mean, i respect his ability to bear a responsibility to look after another human being, to live and love forever until death do 'em apart...yadda...yadda....but how do we decide whether we're able to do so? i mean how do we know if that is true love, soul-mate thingy or whatever? i haven't got answers for all this because i've never been in a relationship before. and my friend ask me "i wanna see the picture of your boyfriend" HaH! i told him, " thats too bad, i'm still single and i couldn't picture myself in that situation yet"...and it was very weird talking to my-now-married friend. man, i don't know how weird it would be when i face him in the face in a couple of days. maybe it's better to pretend that he's lying...what a bizzare jerk i am.i couldn't even feel 'tumpang gembira' for them.
okla, i guess thats it.i still couldn't write as good as u guys out there but i guess this is a good start.

my boyfriend picture..huh...

road to freedom...

2005-06-23T09:24:00.000+08:00

one more day to go before i finish my industrial training...huhuhu...adios to en amirul and ayu....

chameleon chronicle

2005-06-21T13:03:00.000+08:00

huh...what a great title right?
I'v been meaning to tell you about a book by Mark Burnell and the title is 'Chameleon'.Yeah, I'v enever heard of the author before but judging a book by its cover, I decided to borrow the book from USM library.The tagline boost 'A heart-stopping thriller to rival Robert Harris(who?)' and 'one woman, one man, nine passports' are pretty lame right but when I finished reading the book,wow,a major wrong-impression I've had. Honestly I've never read any fiction with this kind of storyline before and from ratio 1-10 i give Burnell a 9!!! To rank him, he would be in between Dan Brown and John Grisham.Apparently there are some praise by another author Boris Starling who wrote 'Messiah'(makes 'Silence of the Lambs' look like 'Alice in Wonderland') of Burnell.
To cut the suspense, I'll put in some excerpt from 'Chameleon'. I hope I'm not breaking any laws...
" Magenta House. An organization that doesn't exist, run by people who don't exist. An ironic consequence of the modern era. In a time of greater openness, somebody still has to get into the sewer to deal with the rats. I don't know how many assassins Magenta House operates-four or five, I should think, perhaps six- but i do know that I was unique among them. They were simply trained in the art of assassination. I was trained for more. Operating under the alias Petra Reuter- a German student turned activist turned mercenary terrorist-I was taught to infiltrate, seduce, lie, eavesdrop, steal, kill. I learn how to withstand pain and how to inflict it..."

"...The next time I wake up, my headache is worse. I shrug off the coat I'm still wearing. There are dried droplets of Bergstein's blood on the right sleeve. I knew from the start that I wasn't Petra Reuter. When Alexander saw me in Provence, he must have suspected it too. He only had to look at me to see something he'd never seen before: a physical ripeness, peace of mind, a life in balance. My softness was corporal and emotional, in equal measure. It was arrogance on both our parts to assume I could ever claw back the brutality I once had. I carry on drinking, then pass out"

Well that was Stephanie Patrick aka Petra Reuter.To my suprise(I've suspected it before), Burnell has already 3 books under Stephanie Patrick series and the latest coming out May this year titled "The Third Women", the others are The Rhythm Section (1999),Chameleon (2001),and Gemini (2003) . He also wrote Freak (1994), Glittering Savages (1995), Zoo Station(2003).So this mean, I'm going to need more time to catch up with Burnell and probably Boris Starling too...
Huh, so many to read yet so little time. The problem is now, how am I going to get ahold of all his books?

note:LOOK FOR-
1.Robert Harris, Fatherland (1992)
Enigma (1995)
Archangel (1998)
Pompeii (2003)
2.Charles Cumming, A Spy By Nature (2001)
3.Boris Starling, Messiah (1999)
Storm (2000)
Vodka (2004)
Visibility (2006)
(check at www.fantasticfiction.co.uk)
huhuh...i'm dead!
-to be continued-

2005-06-16T14:05:00.000+08:00

~forever in love~

"Malas Itu Aku"

2005-06-16T13:30:00.000+08:00

yaa...malas itu aku dan aku itu malas...
walaupun malas namun ku gagahi jua mencoretkan sepatah dua kata di dalam blog ku ini...
walaupun malas, aku dengan malasnya ingin memberitahu bahawa minggu hadapan tamatlah penderitaan aku semasa praktikal/latihan industriku.
namun, akan bermula pula episod baru hidupku bergelar pelajar Tahun Ketiga (Tahun Akhir) sains Biologi di mana aku akan menghadapi projek pula.
setiap pelajar tahun akhir jurusan ku perlu membuat projek tahun akhir berdasarkan tajuk yang dipilih.
semoga aku mendapat pensyarah yang mampu memberi bimbingan dan tunjuk ajar padaku.
semoga projekku sukses.
pesanan akhir dariku, jangan malas....

~aku yang poyo~

B.O.S.A.N with a REALLY BIG capital letters!!!

2005-06-04T02:13:00.000+08:00

i'm so bored to death despite having some work to be done at the lab.it also make me think whether in the future (actually quite close unless i'm lucky to do my Master,PhD whuteva) i could survive working in a laboratory atmosphere.my supervisor got himself (i'm not sure if that is how it's done) a week off for the school holiday but we're stuck in the G0DaMN lab full of giggling girls (am i not one???) and a bunch of loud-talking amois to babysit us.i'm also fed-up with doing the same routine everynight (read:from the beginning of my practical) that include: reading storybooks (emphasize on storybooks NOT other kind of thick scientific books), watching CDs, making up mind what to have for dinner or where to have dinner and bla...bla....
hey my practicals are not that bad actually because at least i learn something that might benefit for my 3rd year project.but the point here are between interesting,beneficial and bored.interesting because i learn something new, benificial for my final year and also bored to some extend of considering to re-arrange all the bottles full of chemicals in the lab so that it'll look all neat and sparkling.
luckily, i could spend the weekend at my home for the 3rd time in a row.it's also because my roomate also decided to 'balik kampung' so i don't to stuck at the hostel with the same routine i did during weekdays except i'm on my own and on Sunday i'm not sure which cafe is open.nah, spending the time at my home would be much better offer.
i'll leave you with a song by muse 'showbiz'--
Controlling my feelings for too longControlling my feelings for too longControlling my feelings far too longControlling my feelings far too longForcing our darkest souls to unfoldForcing our darkest souls to unfoldAnd pushing us into self destructionAnd pushing us into self destructionThey make me, make me dream your dreamsThey make me, make me scream your screamsTrying to please you far too longTrying to please you far too longVisions of greed you wallowVisions of greed you wallowVisions of greed you wallowVisions of greed you wallowThey make me, make me dream your dreamsThey make me, make me scream your screamsControlling my feelings far too longControlling our feelings far too longForcing my darkest souls to unfoldForcing our darkest souls to unfoldAnd pushing us into self destructionAnd pushing us into self destructionThey make me, make me dream your dreamsThey make me, make me scream your screams

p/s:is that too violent?ha..ha..ha...parental advisory needed!

penat+missed American Idol+constantine maroulis+anna & the king mode

2005-05-28T01:39:00.000+08:00

huhuhu...pretty exhausted.imagine taking a ride on a bus, a ferry and another f___-late-for-almost-an-hour bus simultaneously can be quite a journey.luckily it didn't rain or i would be soaked up from head to toe 'coz i forgot to bring my umbrella (yeah,unfortunately in usm i did developed a habit using umbrella but only under certain bad weather,okeigh?).but it worth all the journey.hey i did found a couple with her partner a seriously good-looking guy.looked like not from Malaysia though, more like Middle Eastern (i hope he's not Pakistani-is this right? or Bangladeshi).But a friend of mine also look Middle Eastern but he's not at least his grandparents are.and two siblings begging for money/selling quranic verses for money.i thought this was some kind of scam but i didn't stop to ask them but i didn't give them the money either because i'm quite broke.after a quite long wait, at last the bus arrived and i was saved!
930pm, i am ready for Msian Idol!!! yeah!!! but watching MI reminded me of missing the last episode of American Idol and Constantine Maroulis...huhuhu, kiut guy with big talent n showmanship but got booted off...d*mN u aLL aM*rIcAns! nO wOnder they chosed Bush for the 2nd term....well, watching 'Anna & The King' reminds me of Saina when we watch that film for our movie slot...huhuhu, those days.....

a day at the lab....

2005-05-26T12:56:00.000+08:00

today is pretty much boring but not as dead boring like yesterday. at least today we got some works to do and we manage to make silly mistakes so we can have another work to do or should i say re-do...we had to collect the spores (pretty grotesque)and count them..hAH! you hear me right...we have to count them under the electron microscope and i always end up being the counter because i have better eyesight. talk about ironic....so basically thats it..ops, after lunch we have to inject or should i say pipett to be more scientific the spores into the semi-solid medium we had prepared earlier...and then we wait, and wait and wait and wait until there is growth in the cultures...so wish me lucks with the cultures...our aim is to have a straight growth curve so the growth including the enzyme activity, the glucose and protein intake and outake must be consistent. what do you think? yup, B.O.R.I.N.G. hahaha, bless me....

p/s: in case you encounter any silly spelling mistakes or grammar usage pls correct me in any of my blog...the spelling mistakes might or might not be on purpose but the grammar...well, let just say i'm not very friendly with them...

semitism....

2005-05-25T13:36:00.000+08:00

Philo-Semitism (sometimes Semitism) is an interest in or respect for the Jewish people, and the historical significance of Jewish culture. It is an important phenomenon in the modern world, represented (among other things) by an unparalleled interest in Jewish culture and history, as well as increasing university enrollment by non-Jews in courses relating to Judaism (including Judaism, Hebrew and Jewish languages). While earlier some felt compelled to hide their Jewish ancestry for fear of discrimination, today many emphasize even distant Jewish heritage with pride.

Philo-Semitism has been the subject of a series of high profile books and journal articles (see partial listing below). The rise of philo-Semitism has been met by a mixed response among world Jewry. Some warmly welcome it and argue that it must lead Jews to reconsider their identity. This viewpoint has been expressed by the leading liberal Jewish publication The Forward (http://www.forward.com) (Editorial, 11/10/00):

There are still anti-Semites in the world. It appears, however, that those who admire Jews outnumber them. [...] This is something new. Our world has changed. And this change carries both a blessing and a challenge. The challenge is to understand the new world we have entered. [...] We are outcasts no longer.

Others reject philo-Semitism, as they feel it (like its apparent opposite anti-Semitism) implicitly gives a special status to Jews. This contradicts the traditional goal of Zionism to make Jewry "a nation among nations." Daniel Goldhagen, Harvard scholar and author of the controversial Hitler's Willing Executioners, argues that philo-Semites are often closet anti-Semites. His detractor Norman Finkelstein, agrees. The thesis is that Jew haters feel a need to talk about Jews, and with anti-Semitism no longer being socially acceptable they must instead make exaggerated positive statements.

But in modern transcultural contexts, where the terminologies used to describe people are more clearly seen, the issue of the terminology is perhaps more important than the term itself. In this case, a Jew does not think of his non-Jewish friends as automatically "philo-semitic" (ethnicity having little or nothing to do with friendship). Similarly, there may be certain people whom he or she finds disfavorable, on grounds that are completely unrelated to Judaism. Thus philo-Semitism, and similarly anti-Semitism, are rather new perceptual terms used by Jews to describe their perceptual relationship to the views of non-Jews (both in their common society and abroad).

The rise of philo-Semitism has also prompted some to reconsider Jewish history. While the significance of anti-Semitism must be acknowledged, they claim, it would be wrong to reduce the history of the Jewish people to one of suffering. Indeed, Jews have not only survived, but also often prospered throughout history. In many cases, this was helped by philo-Semitism among surrounding Gentiles. While the existence of so-called "righteous Gentiles" during Jewry's darkest hour, the Holocaust, has long been recognized, they were by no means a new phenomenon at the time. Throughout history, philo-Semitism has existed, representing what has been referred to as an unacknowledged harmony during otherwise troubled times.

source:Wikipedia.com

::just as a mean of knowledge.do not mean to offend or insult others::

bowrink...

2005-05-22T17:34:00.000+08:00

bored...dull...sleepy...bye....

Angels Or Devils

2005-05-22T16:26:00.000+08:00

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one
that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

::always in love with this song don't know how to describe the feeling::also whenever feeling down listen to the killers::weird song of them but somehow very uplifting::

introduction

2005-05-22T00:53:00.000+08:00

dunno what to write nor how to begin a friend said a blog is used to help express feelings rather than keeping it to explode but don't know how much willing to share with the readers because not very good at expressing emotion and sentiments ... enjoy this new blog from amateurish blogger~~